God’s Timing Is Never Punishment- It’s Protection
The Dream That Turned Into Heartbreak
I’ve dreamt about being a mom since I was a little girl. I used to imagine what kind of mom I’d be, how many kids I’d have, what they’d look like, and whether I’d have boys or girls. I always assumed that once I got married, I’d get pregnant quickly—so I was always extremely careful. But when my husband and I began trying to conceive, it didn’t go the way I imagined. After just a few months, I started to realize something wasn’t right. What followed were nearly two years of heartbreak and unanswered questions. A season that would teach me about God’s perfect timing- a truth I didn’t understand at first, but now deeply treasure.
The Waiting and the Worry
I can’t count how many negative pregnancy tests I saw during that time. My mind spiraled:
• Is something wrong with me?
• Am I able to have kids?
• Is it because of my autoimmune disorder?
• Are we going to have to adopt?
• Is my husband going to leave if we can’t have a family?
• Is the issue on his end?
My dream of having a family felt like it was slipping away. What I didn’t realize then was that what felt like silence from heaven was God’s perfect timing unfolding.
Answers and a Christmas Miracle
After meeting with my doctor and running all the tests, I found out that I was, in fact, fertile—and my health wasn’t affecting our ability to conceive.
The next step was for my husband to get tested. That’s when we discovered he had a low sperm count. He was prescribed medication to help, but after two months, he had to stop taking it because of side effects.
And then—three months later—in December 2023, we found out I was pregnant. Our Christmas miracle.
I’ll never forget the moment I saw those two dark red lines. I couldn’t stop crying. I just kept thanking God for His faithfulness and perfect timing.
How God’s Perfect Timing Changed My Perspective
The reason I’m sharing this story is because I believe someone needs to hear this:
Our perspective during the storm is so different from our perspective after the storm.
If we could learn to ask God for a perspective shift in the middle of the waiting, maybe the storm wouldn’t feel so heavy.
During those two years, my mindset was:
“God gave me this desire. Why isn’t He fulfilling it? Maybe I’m doing something wrong. Maybe I’m not good enough. I need to behave perfectly so God will answer my prayer.”
But that kind of thinking reveals a performance-based mindset—a reward and punishment view of God.
That is not God’s character.
The Delay That Revealed God’s Perfect Timing
I used to hate when people said:
“It’ll happen in God’s perfect timing.”
Because in my heart I was screaming, “But I don’t know how far away that time is!”
Once I was finally pregnant, I asked God:
“Why now? Why was THIS the perfect time?”
And as I looked back, I realized that the delay had been His protection—not punishment.
God Was Working While We Waited
Our first year of marriage was hard.
I was healing from deep trauma, and my husband had just begun uncovering his own. We were learning how to become one, how to build something we had never seen before—a healthy, Christ-centered marriage.
The emotional and spiritual weight of that season was a lot.
If we had added a newborn into that season? We would have drowned.
On top of that, one year into living in our apartment, we were forced to move out because our landlord’s daughter (who had gotten pregnant in the military) needed a place to live. That was the same season I was begging God to get pregnant.
Looking back? Thank You, Jesus, for not answering that prayer.
God Was Working Behind the Scenes
Between that season and when we finally conceived:
• I had experienced deep healing
• My husband had started therapy
• Our marriage had strengthened
• He was being mentored by our pastor
• We were more financially stable
Here’s the irony: I had been praying for all of that to happen before becoming a parent—and yet I was mad at God for not giving me a baby before any of those changes had come to pass.
Let that sink in.
To The Mama in the Waiting Room
If you’re in a season of waiting—I see you. I know the fear, the hope, the pain, the questions.
Here’s my encouragement to you:
Ask God to shift your perspective.
You don’t need to know when it will happen.
You just need to trust that He will come through.
He always does. And His timing? It’s never punishment—it’s always protection.
Want to Share Your Story?
If you’ve been through a similar season or are in one now, I’d love to hear from you. Share in the comments or send a prayer request through my Prayer Requests page.